if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just had sex on a roof
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
