Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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