I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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