i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it hurts more in the daytime
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
