Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
