So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
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But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
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Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am available for nakedness
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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