a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
the raccoons are back...
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