He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
