so explain again why im purple
no
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
