he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
