I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
