the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
