oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
not ubering you a puppy
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
