Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
