Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
