She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
