I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
