NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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