Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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