it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
