Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
