How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
