3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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