I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
