Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
