party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
