hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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