honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
