Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
