the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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