I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
