My room smells like vodka and shame
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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