I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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