I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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