Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
