she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
