shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
