dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
