let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
