My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
