I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
