don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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