I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
