coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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