I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
