He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you had me at cake vodka
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.