It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
