Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong

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  (248): the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong http://tfl.nu/52o9
  Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yo im tryna cop a beej tonight

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  (610): yo im tryna cop a beej tonight http://tfl.nu/fc5c
  Replies (24) Good night (2720) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.

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  (571): non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do. http://tfl.nu/8y8e
  Replies (75) Good night (14304) Bad night (1960)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.

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  (209): I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store. (859): Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks. http://tfl.nu/01yd
  Replies (24) Good night (1027) Bad night (3336)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.

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  (719): then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime. http://tfl.nu/to8a
  Replies (7) Good night (4293) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore

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  (540): i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore http://tfl.nu/9ffg
  Replies (16) Good night (4236) Bad night (1784)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  are you going to last longer than 15 seconds

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  nope

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  (913): are you going to last longer than 15 seconds (1-913): nope http://tfl.nu/rdaj
  Replies (34) Good night (1333) Bad night (6367)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.

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  (608): I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here. http://tfl.nu/1bbr
  Replies (17) Good night (1207) Bad night (2832)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?

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  (602): Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again? http://tfl.nu/01x5
  Replies (5) Good night (3422) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.

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  (504): Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now. http://tfl.nu/h0mp
  Replies (9) Good night (2937) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.

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  (602): I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off. http://tfl.nu/f702
  Replies (14) Good night (2973) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.

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  (513): Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives. http://tfl.nu/voqg
  Replies (12) Good night (3391) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.

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  (407): Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks. http://tfl.nu/yvne
  Replies (6) Good night (1690) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.

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  (902): Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends. http://tfl.nu/0yi1
  Replies (12) Good night (2341) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.

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  (513): I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me. http://tfl.nu/ewcq
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (624)

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