Texts From Last Night

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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?

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  (337): I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex? http://tfl.nu/05zs
  Replies (27) Good night (6178) Bad night (833)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  whatever it's not my family

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  (847): this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment. (1-847): whatever it's not my family http://tfl.nu/qbfh
  Replies (1) Good night (2333) Bad night (665)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom

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  (608): She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom http://tfl.nu/qu7d
  Replies (17) Good night (1076) Bad night (3727)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that

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  (214): Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that http://tfl.nu/hzhm
  Replies (33) Good night (3987) Bad night (1276)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken

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  (705): her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken http://tfl.nu/6ixh
  Replies (13) Good night (985) Bad night (3829)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head

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  (604): it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head http://tfl.nu/xa8x
  Replies (38) Good night (5147) Bad night (1522)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving

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  (+44): I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving http://tfl.nu/jxug
  Replies (6) Good night (3524) Bad night (1053)
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  (213): View more from California

  The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.

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  (213): The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out. http://tfl.nu/jmae
  Replies (4) Good night (2238) Bad night (742)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm always drunk lately

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears

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  (647): I'm always drunk lately (647): Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears http://tfl.nu/384i
  Replies (3) Good night (1196) Bad night (431)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.

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  (413): dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/a0c8
  Replies (8) Good night (502) Bad night (972)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.

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  (701): You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool. http://tfl.nu/2eh0
  Replies (7) Good night (525) Bad night (1668)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.

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  (405): There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home. http://tfl.nu/1q6j
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what

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  (860): Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what http://tfl.nu/zlfv
  Replies (4) Good night (597) Bad night (269)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.

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  (773): i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive. http://tfl.nu/jzd0
  Replies (1) Good night (279) Bad night (538)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.

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  (828): DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it. http://tfl.nu/ob9p
  Replies (2) Good night (224) Bad night (682)

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