Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
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We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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