shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
