But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
