afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
