dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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