I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
