it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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