omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
