Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
