You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
