Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
