I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
