Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
