Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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