I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
