i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
why is half of my head shaved?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
