i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
