quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
