Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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