Betty ford says i'm here all night
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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