why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
